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May
1916 issue.
****** REVEALING THE NOT-SO-MILK-&-COOKIES FACTS OF LIVE ******
THE USAK PORTAL.
Usak, Turkey April 1916.
The previously sleepy village of Usak would never be the same again. It all started when young Aslan Yilmaz came running down the slopes of Koroglu mountain, screaming like a madman, closely followed by an equally noisy Feyza, the daughter of the local police constable. The fact that the well-endowed Feyza was stark naked might account for the additional commotion and interest.
Said local police constable, Farouk Ozgun, was none too happy with his offspring running around clad in only her birthday costume, and promptly arrested poor Aslan.
What Aslan told Ozgun will probably never be known, but it must have been important enough to prompt the policeman to contact the military commander of nearby Korkusan. Since no gruesome screams emanated from the constables' house that night it is assumed Aslan Yilmaz manhood is still reasonably intact.
Next day, trucks loaded with infantrymen began arriving in Usak and
the village was placed under a strict curfew.
Villagers were no longer allowed to visit any of the adjoining hamlets,
and inhabitants of the latter were stopped and turned back long before
they reached Usak. There were some protests but usually the sight of
a few hundred Mausers held by determined soldiers was enough to deter
even the most foolhardy. Those that weren't deterred will probably never
be heard of again.
The soldiers were mostly garrison troops, but later that week a regular infantry battalion, equipped with the latest Maxim machine guns arrived, followed by a fairly large cavalry troop of the elite Incirlik regiment. The war must be going well that these troops could be spared!
In a way Usak flourished thanks to this influx of unexpected visitors.
All these soldiers needed to be fed, the officers sought and found quarters,
and so on.
In a tradition that dates back to the first fighting men, the warriors
also looked for entertainment when they were off duty, and the Usak
villagers gladly obliged.
Officially alcohol wasn't allowed for religious reasons, but often enough
the steps of the patrolling squads were somewhat less than steady.
Prowling patrols would perhaps be a better word, for there was another
thing soldiers have always craved, and the women of Usak were renowned
for their beauty. Trade flourished all right.
If there was still anyone doubting that something very important was
going on, these doubts were immediately swept away when the next contingent
of soldiers arrived. Nearly two months after what was now called 'The
Mountain Incident' the Usak villagers were greeted by a strange sight.
Dozens of trucks rumbled onto the village square and out of them spilled
strangely uniformed troops. Grim, serious looking men, dressed in not
the haphazard way of the normal Turkish army, but immaculately dressed
in high collar tan tunics, uncomfortable looking jackboots, and, most
remarkable, wearing a spiked helmet. And none of them spoke a single
word of Turkish.
Their commander presented some letters to the Turkish general in charge,
and onlookers noted that the arriving officer was greeted with the utmost
courtesy by the Turk.
Soon it was known that these new arrivals were Germans and that they were brothers in arms against the Imperialist British invaders. And they were here to help out on a very, possibly crucial mission, which might see Turkey regain its natural position as leader of the Middle Eastern region and the Balkan lands.
After that rejoicing news the villagers of Usak gladly opened their
homes and hearts to these warriors. It must have helped that for the
most part the soldiers were tall, handsome, good-looking fellows and
the swishing of batting eyelashes could almost be heard above the normal
din of the village.
When it became popular knowledge that they always paid in hard currency
that particular noise level increased still.
Even the dour scientists that accompanied the soldiers were not immune
to the charms of the Usakians.
The Germans also proved to be their proverbial champions of efficiency. In a short time the road to the by now strictly off-limits mountain was widened and hardened, and the construction of an airfield started. Less than 14 days afterwards the first plane landed at Usak airfield and nearly the whole village came to watch. Yes, Usak was thriving and the Germans were seen as very welcome guests.
This made the contrast with the next arrivals even starker. They came
like thieves in the night. One day everything was business as normal and
the next day they were just there.
A small group of armed men was seen mixing with the Turkish and German
commanders and by observing their mutual body language it was immediately
obvious that the newcomers carried a lot of authority.
Not that they were very impressive to look at. No uniforms to speak of
except for a few oddly coloured green tunics and pinned up bush hats.
Their weapons however were impressively clean even by the now familiar
Germans standards and always ready to hand.
Some of the villagers thought they were British renegades or deserters since they had heard them speak that language when conferring with Germans and Turks. Amongst themselves they spoke another, very strange language however. Only one villager ever made the mistake of asking one of them if he was by any chance 'Eenglish'.
They didn't mix much with the local population although some 'fraternising'
with the Usak belles went on. Some of these guys were utterly charming
and soft-spoken and that fact was not lost on the local sisterhood. The
fact that many of them picked up a mouthful of Turkish words almost overnight
also helped.
An unexpected benefit of their arrival was that the Illegal but silently
condoned distilleries of fermented grain boomed. Their ability to soak
up gallons of the stuff without many adverse effects became almost legendary.
Their willingness for a good brawl too. Respect for their fighting abilities
went up several notches after the redheaded giant called Paddy, knocked
out Turkan, the local wrestling champion, with a single blow. After a
German doctor fixed up Turkan, both he and Paddy were seen enjoying the
charms of the beautiful twins Acilay and Ceyda Sener. Father Sener discreetly
went on a family visit.
The leader of this motley crew was an average built man who have been unremarkable except for a few things. His deep green eyes would normally have given a soft touch to his countenance, but in his case not. Someone said that he had never seen eyes so filled of hate. His face was scarred on one side, burns probably, and he walked with a slight limp as if his feet hurt constantly. It took only a few days for a Usak girl to notice he didn't have any fingernails either.
Young Aslan Yilmaz, who recently had resurfaced and become somewhat of
a celebrity- although he studiously avoided Feyza, and her father even
more-
tried to interrogate him about all the exiting things going on at the
mountain site. The only answer he got was 'You don't really want to know'
You'll die if you go anywhere near it' It was spoken in such a grave voice
that Aslan never doubted it for a moment and never again tried to find
out more.
Life in Usak went on. It had occurred to several people that many, many
soldiers went up that mountain but rarely ever any came back down.
That was until the first dead and wounded men were brought back. No one
had ever seen wounds like that. Huge gaping holes in limbs and bodies,
and people so horribly burned as to be almost unrecognisable as human
beings. The worst of it all was that some were still alive.
And something else came out of that infernal blue- lighted cave as well.
Something not entirely human.
Gust Costers
- editor in chief.
Krymshaks they called themselves, the first d'Worffs encountered
by the Turkish scouts that went through the mysterious gate at Usak.
They were friendly enough and didn't seem terribly surprised by the humans.
Quite understandable now since humans were frequently seen in their lands,
and some of them even belonged to the Krymshak tribe as some sort of honorary
member.
Turkish scholars were amazed to find out that the Krymshaks spoke a fairly understandable version of modern Turkish, almost like the ancient Altaic language. Their written records were accordingly mostly in what is nowadays called the Orkhan script, and easy enough to decipher by someone knowledgeable.
Metalworking was their speciality and Krymshak tools and weapons were
renowned throughout their world.
Huge coal fuelled furnaces churned out enormous amounts of metal objects
and this constituted the great wealth of the proud Krymshak tribe.
It was also their doom.
Marauding tribes coveted the metal artefacts, especially the weapons,
and raided the Krymshaks whenever they could. Often enough one of the
master smiths was captured never to return.
Of course the Krymshaks fought back, but they were just a small tribe.
Their neighbours, the Karachays, Karaites and Balkars supported them in
their struggle, but even combined they didn't have one tenth of the strenght
of the mighty Uyghurs or even worse the formidable Azeris.
And worse was to come.
The previously friendly or at least neutral Kirghyz and Chuvachs smelled
that the Krymskaks were doomed and began raiding the dying kingdom. Even
the lowly Gagauzs now dared to set foot on their soil.
The Krymshaks dug in and prepared for the worst.
That is, until the Turks arrived. The first encounter with a hostile
raiding party, Kirghyz as it turned out, was a bit of a one-sided affair.
Obviously not used to long range rifle fire the attacking Kirghyz were
mowed down in droves by disciplined fire. Maxim and Schwarzloze machine
guns did the rest, and the few Kyrghyz riders that limped home brought
back a message to their leaders.
The Krymshaks still have teeth.
Later fights were a lot messier since the d'Worffs learned fast. At close range these little devils were devastating, and in hand to hand combat almost unbeatable. And there were so many of them!
After a few desultory fights the Turkish High Command decided to call
in their German allies.
Germany, fighting on three fronts on Earth, couldn't spare many troops,
but wanted to honour their agreement with the Turks anyway. So after a
short time German picklehaubes, chapzkas and feldmutze became a common
sight in Crima, the capital of the Krymshak nation.
It turned out to be the most profitable deal ever. The Krymshak lands proved to be abundantly rich in iron ore, so much in fact that the Krymshaks allowed their new-found allies to take as much as they wanted. Even better were the sheer inexhaustible amounts of rare metals like nickel, wolfram, rhodium and even the priceless palladium.
The Turks and the Germans quickly saw a golden opportunity here. They
German industry, hungry for these metals, would process as much of these
metals as fast as humanly possible, and both the German and Turkish army
would soon be equipped with the latest tools of war.
Also the Irish compatriots wouldn't be forgotten because it was largely
to their pioneer work that all this became possible.
But the best was yet to come. South of the Krymshak grounds, separated
only by the narrow Issyk river lay the lands of the Karachays, traditional
friends and staunch allies of the Krymshaks.
Part of their land was called Batirmak, freely translated as "The
Wetlands"
It was a poor translation because it wasn't water that made this a wetland.
On a courtesy visit to the neighbouring tribe, Colonel Mehmet Atagun
and Colonel Hermann von Lippisch were astounded to found out that the
soggy mess that stretched out for miles was simple a huge crude oilfield.
Billions and billions of barrels of the black gold filtered through the
soil.
The d'Worffs had absolutely no use for it and were glad to hear that their
new friends would be more than happy to drain the lands for them.
Now the only thing left is to safeguard the Krymshak and Karachys lands.
Offensively- minded the Turks and Germans decide to take the war to the
Kirghyz, Chuvachs, Uyghurs, Uzbeks, Azeris and all other that might stand
in their way.
Gust Costers - editor in chief.