London, 10th December 1915.

After having been offered the job, sworn secrecy, screened, cleared and subsequently briefed by the MI5 "M-cell", I was taken to a site unknown and transported via the TSA-Portal to the planet Minerva. My 7 week-long mission was stated very clear (see above title), be it far from simple to complete...
Apart from what I discovered about the Minervan d'Worffs (and duly report here), the most amazing thing (next to visiting an unexplored planet...) was the fact that - although I have spent 7 weeks on Minerva - I was only away from Earth for 7 days! We do not yet fully understand this phenomenon, but appearantly it has to do with clocks being situated at lower gravitational potentials running slower. This is because gravitational time dilation is manifested in accelerated frames of reference or, by virtue of the equivalence principle, in the gravitational field of massive objects - at least according to my esteemed colleague Dr Albert Einstein's theory. I'm inclined to go along with this: if there is a lower gravity on Minerva than on Earth (though"gravity" on Minerva seems to have a - at least partially - different meaning than on Earth), this would explain the d'Worffs flying boats and the like... Enough of that for the moment, I'll best get back on the subject and continue my report.

3rd to 10th December 1915 (Earth time).
After my arrival in Georgetown, I was heartily welcomed by Lt-Col M. (Mark) Usket VC, officer commanding. Describing Georgetown as a "town" is overstretching things to say the least, as would be calling the Colonel's band of 30 men a fullsize"garrison". Georgetown (named in honour of our Sovereign) consists of a few isolated d'Worff-buildings (looking much like our late medieval town structures) and some tents (ours), all situated next to the TSA-Portal. As I soon learned, our expedition members were not allowed to wander outside Georgetown and it had taken Lt-Col M. Usket and Sir B. (Bernard) Urned-Metters (the King's agent) quite some (Minervan...) time to persuade the local d'Worff ruler to open further diplomatic negociations. After they had finally succeeded to convince the d'Worff lord, this stout warrior stated he felt it proper only to deal with someone of a rank equal to himself, so I would have to pose as "Lord" Dartswin, alwayscareful not to reveal that I was in fact a mere anthropologist studying our hosts and not a nobleman at all...

It took the d'Worff lord Alexis Thrarr (meaning "Defender of the Black Tower", as I learned later), a couple of days to send his fellow lord (me...) an invitation to come and visit him in his capital Kilrak ("Proud Bastion"). In the meantime I did spent some time with the 8 other scientists present (Lt-Col Usket was usually far to occupied to take care of me). My fellow scientists were all specialists in different fields and we had some pleasant conversations about the fauna and flora of Minerva (or at least: as far as they had been able to view these from their restricted area around Georgetown). I won't deal with this any further here since - no doubt - they will report about these subjects themselves. Suffice it to say the region I visited is landscaped much like Western Europe, with similar/identical plants & animals, be it also with a flora I've never seen before and dinosaurlike creatures (yes, indeed!). Other than that, I spent my time observing the first d'Worffs I encountered: our "Honour Guard", clearly only there to keep an eye on us and to prevent us leaving Georgetown. On several occasions I tried to start a conversation with these three foot "tall" stocky warriors, but clearly they were instructed to politely ignore us...

Finally, I was summoned by Alexis Thrarr's pompous herald (in Latin, no less!) and made the five mile trip to Kilrak, escorted by Lt B (Brad) Umble, 4 soldiers, and V. (Victor) Ertahler, our translator.
I really had no idea what to expect, but Kilrak was actually only a larger version of Georgetown, be it built around a small square and a stone keep, no doubt the pride and joy of Alexis Thrarr. The settlement was wel maintained, but apart from a unit of crossbowmen and another one armed with hugh axes (on parade, in absolute silence and both having a very distinctive Renaissance "look"), not a soul was to be seen.

Moments later, this quite scene was disrupted by the loud voice of Thrarr's herald, calling out: "Bow to Lord Alexis Thrarr, ruler of these lands and peoples, commander of the army, protector of the defenceless and Keeper of the Portal!". The voice came from behind us, so we turned to face the sound, unable to mask our fear and astonishement at what we observed: in the corner of the square a giant triceratopslike creature had shown up, bearing a steel howdah on its back, occupied by three d'Worffs, one clearly of higher rank than the others. We could safely assume Alexis Thrarr had arrived, and what an entry it was! So bow we did... Clearly pleased with the effect he had created, Alexis dismounted from the giant beast and we were introduced to him by the herald (still in Latin), who had clearly some difficulties with the pronunciation of our (to d'Worffs) unfamiliar names.

I was just about to take the initiative by addressing the d'Worff lord when Alexis beat me to it by asking "Shall we continue our conversation in Inglèz, if you please?". So they spoke our language! (be it with a heavy accent). Clearly, we still had much to learn about our new friends... Next we were invited inside one of the larger buildings (not the keep...) where the "d'Worff Drink of Friendship" was offered to us (a very sweet and strong sort-of-alcoholic brew). I didn't dare drink too much of it. Subsequently we were invited to join our hosts for dinner, again by voice of the herald (sigh...). We did spend a very pleasant evening enjoying a fantastic meal (or rather: a feast, with our host continiously apologizing for the fact he had to organize things on short notice, so there were no more than 56 courses and 10 different wines...), accompanied by the music of a d'Worff band in the background and some scanty clad female d'Worff bellydancers in the foreground (though I have to admit I prefer earthly women's proportions by far...).

During the meal, my host continiously asked questions about our planet of origin, our own country, king, army, industry etc. I had to improvise my answers since the textbook introduction speeches we normally use with African tribal leaders would have sounded ridicilous (to say the least) when confronted with a civilization much closer to our own. Appearantly my answers were satisfying, and before retiring Alexis invited me to a tour of his realm, even including a visit to his country's capital, though I would have to travel in disguise since clearly he wanted none to be informed about our presence. His herald (OH, NO!!!!) and a company of soldiers would accompany me on my tour and serve as guide and protectors. Noticing my hesitation, he assured me I had nothing to fear, adding with a smile: "If I wanted you dead, you wouldn't be sitting here with me still, now would you?". So I decided to take the plunge and what follows is a summary of what I saw and learned.

The land Alexis rules is called Westshire and together with Nort-, Est and Sutshire it forms the kingdom of Engülland, ruled by the aging king Hexus II. Most of the land resembles our own beloved English countryside with green valleys, rolling hills and meandering streams and rivers (be it with some weird fauna & flora added...). Only Nortshire (where the capital Trüt is situated) features massive mountains ("The Border Mountains",) where iron ore, coal and "diac" are won. "Diac" (short for Diacoal) is a sort of fuel and appearantly its molecular structure is situated somewhere between that of diamant and coal. When excavated, it looks like glassdust and it is pressed together to solid blocks in mills , meant to feed "diac-mötörs". Diac-mötörs come closer in size to combustion engines (but with a much superior performance thanks to their turbines and diac fuel) than to steam machines (with which diac-mötörs share many components and part of their technology).

A diacmötör produces steam under very high pressure, not only for propulsing d'Worff cars or static engines, but is even able to lift & propel airships high into the sky (!), all this with very low fuel consumption; a wonder to behold! Since the diacmines are situated in Nortshire, it is king Hexus II who has control over the fuel distribution to the shires, which he does not fail to use as a tool of rule... Subsequently, most of the country's industry is concentrated in Nortshire (near the mines of Trüt). Engülland itself is situated on a large island close to the mainland and only Nortshire has a landborder (with the "Northern Wastelands", savage lands not under control of Hexus II). Activity in the other three shires is mostly agricultural with farms, villages and small towns dotting the countryside. Nortshire is the largest province, followed by Est-, Sut- and Westshire. Each of these provinces is ruled by a Govner (of which Alexis is one) with Hexus II as king and overlord. Hexus II - in his turn - answers to the Emperor (on mainland Uranus). Appearantly, technology is even more advanced in the area around the imperial capital, and the emperor enjoys the protection of the "Gods", but more details fail at the moment...

During my trip I came across some humans (few and far in between and always accompanied by d'Worffs, so I had no opportunity to speak with them), some of our own stature, some smaller (more like slim 12-14 year olds, but clearly grownups). Very much intrigued, I asked L. (Louis) Aweit (my herald guide) about these humans and he explained that there were indeed human civilizations on Minerva, but very few ever visited the d'Worff empire (on invitation only or as immigrant workers - a source of cheap labour for the mills and mines). There had been open war with some human empires in the past, but the d'Worffs had always been victorious and lately things had been peaceful, except for the usual coastal raids by "plagiatorer" (pirates). I feel I must report one encounter in particular though: near Trüt we crossed the path of a band of continental d'Worff soldiers, appearantly under command of a human (though Louis assured me this could not be the case; no d'Worff ruler would allow this). This person's uniform and attitude made him look very much like a German officer, and I'm almost certain he was wearing a Luger P08 pistol in his belt, but I can't be 100% sure since I took great care not to be noticed by him or his men...

After a trip several weeks' long trip, I finally returned to Georgetown and took the opportunity to tell my fellow countrymen the full story of my voyage. Yet another week passed before I was summoned to Kilrak and Govner Alexis once more. This time we had a private meeting (just the two of us) in his throneroom. After he had asked me if I had enjoyed my trip, he came straight to the point: King Hexus II was seriously ill and Alexis feared for his own life!

For over 3500 (Minervan) years, Engülland had been governed by four noble families, each providing a Govner for their shire and also the country's king in turns. These "Saqs" ("nobility" in d'Worff speach) are: Klutsaq (Northshire), Rothsaq (Estshire), Lahmsaq (Sutshire) and Pehsaq (Westshire). Upon the death of the old king, one of these clans - in strict rotation - provided a successor). Traditionally, this happened during an (even by d'Worff norms) huge festival where the dead king was honoured and mock battles between the four Saq armies were staged. The ultimate victor of this "war" was always to be the clan which turn it was to provide the new king, who was duly crowned at the end of the festival.

10 years ago, Gröte Pehsaq (the impotent, childless Govner of Westshire) had died in a hunting accident during the Great Famine, thus ending his bloodline. The situation in the whole of the country was desperate at the time and thousands had already died from lack of food when Alexis (a simple Westshire cartdriver) had had the brilliant idea of frying "petaaten" (a tuberous crop, abundantly available, but thought utterly uneatable) in oil to serve as a meal. This not only ended the famine, but both "frieten" (as the new food was called) and Alexis became hugely popular, so much even that the people of Westshire elected him Govner, since Gröte Pehsack had left no heir. There was little the remaining three Saq families could do about the people's choice, but they never accepted Alexis as their equal. The only real friend Alexis has at the king's court is the Royal Magus who has warned him about the fiendish plan of the Klutsaq and Rothsaq clans to - upon the death of Hexus II - first eliminate Torre Lahmsaq (by rotation,the next king-to-be), accuse Alexis of the murder and subsequently invade and annex both Sutshire and Westshire, dividing these lands amongst them. So Alexis must make his move before they do or he will be a sitting duck... Unfortunately, Alexis not only has a much smaller army than his opponents, but it is highly unlikable that Torre Lahmsaq will take Alexis word over that of his fellow nobles-of-the-blood...

In short: Alexis needs more troops and he is looking at us to provide these. At the end of our meeting he entrusted me with the (enclosed) treaty whereby he offers his support for a British colonization of Minervan lands beyond the d'Worff borders. Realizing I had to handle the matter as careful as possible, I asked what would happen if my sovereign would refuse to become involved in what was clearly a d'Worff matter?... "Not to worry" he said "You will soon know that as well, but be on your way now, young lad, since time is of the essence. I have prepared a small military display at the Portal for you to enjoy!". He then left the room and Louis Aweit took me straight back to the TSA-Portal to see me off. At the Portal, about a dozen d'Worff militiamen with rifles presented arms and Louis said: "before you go back to Earth, the Govner has asked me to demonstrate what the imperial orders stipulate upon arrival of extra-Minervans...". He raised his hand and the d'Worff militiamen fired several salvos into the narrow slit between the Portal's pillars. One needn't be a military expert to realize none could enter Minerva through the Portal if Alexis' guards didn't want him to. "Naturally" Louis said "this will not happen to a friend bringing with him a signed treaty...". Without further dealy I stepped through the Portal, crossed the desert, borded the waiting destroyer in Alexandria and speeded to London where I arrived yesterday evening. I have spent the night writing this report and - in the interest of our fellow countrymen still in Georgetown - I must urge you to consider the annexed treaty: our friends' lives and our possible future on Minerva depend on your speedy answer: I must remind you that time on Minerva elapses seven times faster than on Earth...

Yours Truly,

Prof. Charles Dartswin.